Having Many Friends Comes to Ruin

Happy FUN Friday again!

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother (sister) is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24 A man (woman) of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I pray this brings encouragement to your soul. Lord knows I still need it.

The Lord brought this on my spirit again and it was confirmed through my sister and a devotion I read today. So, I guess it's time for me to speak what He prepared in my heart to say to you and may you be blessed with this message. Bittersweet moments come to mind with my experiences and I know if anyone is reading this, he or she will most likely agree with me. There's nothing wrong with being friendly, however, keeping too many friends can actually be a ruin to your soul!

You're probably wondering why I'm stating this. Well, with good reason. Plenty of people misconstrue the word friend with acquaintance. There's a distinctive difference. Just because you know of the person, doesn't mean there's a personal connection between you and the other individual.

Why? You ask.

Well, anyone who relates to what I'm saying; gets where I'm coming from. I'm friendly but I don't have many friends. I only have a limited number in friends because through my experiences, people I've known along the way betrayed me in the worst way. And I'm sitting still through my quiet storms in my life with God to know what a real friend is all about. And yes, Jesus is my personal Savior. He definitely taught me what a friend really is.

A real friend is someone who will be there for you--regardless, no matter the time, distance, or situations that goes on with him or her.

A real friend will make an apology when he or she realized he or she caused error in the other person's life and is humble enough to say, "I'm truly sorry. I made a mistake. I hope you find it my heart to forgive me." And he or she means it through proving in his or her actions.

A real friend listens and offers grace through understanding that is sufficient in your time of need.

A real friend loves you no matter what: if you lose your job, become rich and famous, gain weight, lose weight, having troubles to trust again and the list goes on and on.

When a man or woman declares of having plenty of friends. There's chaos and confusion. He or she becomes so divided; he or she is not certain who he or she is anymore. This type of person overbooks himself or herself to various occasions and not knowing when to slow down, and take a minute to breathe and gather his or her thoughts for personal time. Because this person believes the more friends he or she have; then he or she is better off than the one who doesn’t have many friends.

And anyone can relate to what I'm saying, knows this is farther from the truth! Having too many friends open the gates for betrayal, gossip, slander, melancholy, and then the last boomerang that hits every one of us hard to the core: loneliness.

When you have various folks coming at you, it's hard to tell what their motives are. But this is where Godly discernment kicks in. God will prompt it in your heart to know when something isn't right. While you're befriending that person, you can't put your foot on it, but you know something isn't legit.

For example, I will use my experience. 2011, I was working at a job after picking up the pieces from leaving my other job that wanted me to work in a place that isn't safe. I was working on the first Floor and then was moved to the sixth floor. This worker gave me her number and wanted to be my friend. I took the number, but I was hesitant. I didn't understand why. And believe me when I say this, now looking back at my situation, it was for a very valid reason!

I'm experienced in working at a coffee shop. It comes to me naturally. “Mandy” watched me operating the floor by myself. I was running the register, handling the pastries, and making drinks for customers. And she didn't think I was watching her, using my peripheral vision. The Lord showed me how much she despised me! Most of the other workers were blind to the situation. Certainly not me. My uncle (on my father's maternal side) said to me before I came to New York, "Chimere, watch what people say and watch what they do. And you'll know whether or not if they're full of it." I changed his words because he said something more vulgar (laughing).

I processed what he said to me and it still bears witness to me this day. Back to my story, one day in late October. She saw a dude (coworker) and me conversing. She made it her business to say something derogatory to me on a Saturday afternoon. She said, "So, you and 'Alan,' huh?" I won’t repeat the rest—her statement was out of line. She figured to make an obscene joke about him and me. It was not funny.

Her joke was extremely offensive. Anyone in his or her right frame of mind knows you don't use certain terms loosely! My first concern was, what if parents and children hear her say that??? I would lose my job and they would file a complaint against the company. It's clear that "Mandy" wanted to sabotage me! I laugh and joke, too, but not at the expense of others! It's cruel to make asinine jokes about people. Period.

I made amends with her and Lord knows I've done all I could to keep peace, but the problem was rooting in her. For seven to eight months, I tried getting along with her; she was the one who kept gossiping about me. I loathe gossiping because people tend to twist your words to make you look evil, when that is not what you mean at all!

Some workers were making false claims that I was gossiping about her, when the truth was, I was venting because I needed someone to listen to me. But no one was getting it. They refused to see the truth that was standing in their faces and they went deaf by not actually listening to my faintest cry. But I'm so glad the Lord heard my cry. And when the Lord told me this, I knew there was truth in what He said to me about my situation. When I paid attention how they're reactions were to me, that told me all I needed to know. So "Mandy" decided to take matters into her own hands after I reported her for making fun of giving me a barista certification when it's supposed to be the Store Manager and the Barista's signatures there, but it was hers. Basically, she used forgery!

She wanted to play God by illegally recording me to get me fired. And I've never been fired in a day of my life. At that time in my life, I was going through a lot. I had my personal belongings stolen from me by someone I know. It wasn’t random either! (And yes, The Lord brought it to the light like I knew He would. God is so awesome like that!) An illness hit one of my loved ones hard in late 2010 and then the final bomb "Mandy" set me up to get fired. No, I didn't sue because I was flat broke and I had limited transportation. Looking in a spiritual angle, "Mandy" took advantage because I was going through a lot, and she knew  I was trying to keep my life together without falling apart. And all because she changed her mind of not wanting to be a supervisor, to become a supervisor again, when she heard I made a suggestion that I want to move up in the company.  I laugh now because her wish didn't come true. All with her getting me in trouble was in vain!

The saying may sound cliché, but it's true. God really don't like ugly!

My point is if I had befriended her, my life would be in complete turmoil because she doesn't care about anyone but herself. I pity her because she doesn't get that life doesn't operate her way. We have too many people who want to do a good thing, but don't want to do what is right. Good and right are two different scenarios.

And she is a prime example of what a friend isn't. Just because there are many people in your circle, doesn't mean they are for you. Just because they smile in your face, doesn't mean they really like you. They most likely hate your guts and plan for you to fall! They're probably getting next to you because of what you have or what you can give, and then don't care to be there for you like you are there for them.

Believe me. I’ve been a victim of it countless times! It's a hurting feeling when you give your all and the same isn't returned to you. It's a tragedy when people you desire to befriend talk trash about you and then expect you to be there for them.

A friend doesn’t do those things!

Notice in both scriptures the term friend is singular--not plural! Everybody who enters your life is not your friend. Take heed, precious heart. If there's been a nagging inkling in your heart about certain people in your life, May God show you the truth and set you free from them, so you won't be entangled with a snare for your fall!

God will give you friends after His own Heart. Please know I'm not referring to perfection because no one is perfect. Nonetheless, there is a fine line between flaws and deliberate treachery.

I long for friends to love me for me, the way I love them for them! I know most of you wish for this, too.

As of for now, God wants me to walk alone, so He can use me for His Glory to send you heartwarming messages like these to keep you encourage and aware of what's out here in the world. So many people want to keep situations in secrecy and have the world remain the same.

Change must start somewhere. And it begins with me. I rather be a friend than to have friends who aren't reliable. At least, I can be accountable for myself and keep my word and if I don't keep my promise, it's never intentional, but sometimes things really do happen. When I love, I love hard and I don't half step. I love a friend like I love my sisters and they're my buddies forever and always.

You want a friend who is your confidant. Someone who totally gets you and don't even question your moods because they know who you are. For instance, when I went to a friend of mine's birthday party this past February. While I was sitting there silent, he sensed something was bothering me. And he was correct. I didn't want to talk about it because it was his birthday and I didn't want to ruin his B-Day. For it was a joyous occasion, in spite of me coming down with a brutal cold that night!

Now  that is the kind of friend you want who is in tune with you. And my heart goes out especially to the celebrities, for it must be tough for them to deal with all kinds of people heading their way. Their lives are always in the limelight and I believe with my whole heart. They are people just like you and me, except they have more prestige, but don't get it twisted! They have needs just like we do and they have struggles, too. They long for someone to love them unconditionally and who wouldn't want that! I know I do.

Till next time, my friends. Keep the faith and always press towards to what you want to achieve in life and never compromise who you are for others to like you and accept you. God will always bless you with real folks who are after His Own Heart to love you the way He does. I want to add, yes, God sends us people, but no one can love you the way He does.

His love is so awesome and so magnificent. What a Mighty God He is. There is none like Him. People come and go, so will jobs and homes, too. One thing is constant: God. God changes not and He will always be there for you when no one else is! I love you with the love of Christ and be blessed!